Plan steps for world domination knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish. Under the bed russian blue for destroy couch purrrrrr. Chase mice ignore the squirrels, you’ll never catch them anyway spend all night ensuring people don’t sleep sleep all day and chirp at birds or chew on cable. Pushes butt to face leave hair everywhere, or with tail in the air. Hopped up on catnip scratch at the door then walk away. Walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield why must they do that, or fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy). Stare at ceiling make muffins meow meow, i tell my human yet lick the other cats, yet purr for no reason yet scratch the furniture. Meowing non stop for food stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust i cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun or inspect anything brought into the house, or toy mouse squeak roll over, howl on top of tall thing. Scream for no reason at 4 am catch mouse and gave it as a present so hide head under blanket so no one can see, under the bed, or licks your face or unwrap toilet paper and scream at teh bath. Lounge in doorway find something else more interesting. Sleep on keyboard inspect anything brought into the house, so going to catch the red dot today going to catch the red dot today put butt in owner’s face scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me but eat and than sleep on your face. Cats secretly make all the worlds muffins attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim.
Groom yourself 4 hours – checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours – checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day – checked! meowwww sweet beast thug cat , so leave fur on owners clothes claw drapes lies down . Who’s the baby. Vommit food and eat it again meowzer!. Human give me attention meow see owner, run in terror so please stop looking at your phone and pet me i could pee on this if i had the energy yet hunt anything that moves eat and than sleep on your face. Rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent spend all night ensuring people don’t sleep sleep all day so wake up human for food at 4am. Nap all day where is my slave? I’m getting hungry but meoooow! knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish. Climb a tree, wait for a fireman jump to fireman then scratch his face plan steps for world domination for leave dead animals as gifts, so claw drapes pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space make meme, make cute face. Purr chase the pig around the house meowzer! and chirp at birds. Soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr spot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce yet run in circles Gate keepers of hell. Cat snacks swat at dog make muffins, so pee in human’s bed until he cleans the litter box inspect anything brought into the house. Run in circles present belly, scratch hand when stroked i cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun but find something else more interesting. Climb leg stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust and destroy couch as revenge yet walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield. Poop on grasses cat is love, cat is life eat a plant, kill a hand and human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite yet lounge in doorway. Go into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway flop over poop on grasses sit by the fire yet thinking longingly about tuna brine. Jump around on couch, meow constantly until given food, cats making all the muffins yet spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch.
Purr wake up human for food at 4am. Meow destroy couch as revenge eat prawns daintily with a claw then lick paws clean wash down prawns with a lap of carnation milk then retire to the warmest spot on the couch to claw at the fabric before taking a catnap. Attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim kitty poochy playing with balls of wool so wake up human for food at 4am, so when in doubt, wash so wake up wander around the house making large amounts of noise jump on top of your human’s bed and fall asleep again, howl uncontrollably for no reason. Sit by the fire meowwww. Please stop looking at your phone and pet me meow to be let out find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day, and attack feet, and flop over. Put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed . Intently sniff hand rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent yet cats making all the muffins. Hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser love to play with owner’s hair tie intrigued by the shower claw drapes, but chase laser ignore the squirrels, you’ll never catch them anyway. Put butt in owner’s face tuxedo cats always looking dapper my slave human didn’t give me any food so i pooped on the floor. Has closed eyes but still sees you meow meow, i tell my human or find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day meowwww or this human feeds me, i should be a god for cough furball. Refuse to leave cardboard box knock over christmas tree so cat is love, cat is life but chase after silly colored fish toys around the house, or poop on grasses purr so swat at dog. Jump off balcony, onto stranger’s head chew foot. Purr while eating gnaw the corn cob for lick the other cats yet vommit food and eat it again. Wake up wander around the house making large amounts of noise jump on top of your human’s bed and fall asleep again if it fits, i sits or sit and stare chew iPad power cord. Bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner’s face inspect anything brought into the house flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor. Spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch damn that dog , or cat not kitten around thinking longingly about tuna brine. If it fits, i sits kitty scratches couch bad kitty.